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I think I’m going to kill myself this week. I said the same thing about a year ago, and things have only got worse since then. I can’t cope anymore. I have no friends, I don’t get along with my family, and life isn’t worth it. I’m done.
or was there always something “wrong” about you?
And which do you think is worse, losing happiness, or always being miserable?
Okay, so I saw a new nurse. I quickly hated her as I do new people. I didn’t exactly trust her, and I hate that she judges me whilst simultaneously knowing that she has to in order to figure out what went so wrong I tried to kill myself. She said some things that had me (admittedly, wrongly) fuming. For example, “when you anticipate a down, you make the down happen”. ‘So it’s my fault’ I thought. She doesn’t think I have Bipolar Disorder, she mentioned anti depressants and ‘Emotional Dysregulation’ which, if severe enough is basically Borderline Personality Disorder. We’re starting Distress Tolerance Therapy [...]
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I have learnt a new lesson… Responsibility kills.
Hundreds of peoples commit suicide just because of merely a word used by everyone at their surrounding. Why?
How important is that word ? At school, i didnt pass up just a paper, they all ended up saying i must take the responsibility to pass up that paper which i lost it. They continue the word day after day .What do they want from me ?
Why force me to the corner just for one piece of paper ?Why? Wrath? Or name?
My vengeance is growing day by day ,even though someone tell me to stay positive . I think im [...]
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I keep telling myself, I have nothing to lose so I can only gain. But then I still continue falling deeper in the downward spiral.
I was a quiet child when I was young, I had no friends at school and I would wander the school fields aimlessly at break times, thinking to myself wild fantasies and great becomings. I was never bullied, but I isolated myself from all the other children. I wanted to be alone. I would sit in my room all day and keep to myself, and the only person I could truly talk to without worry was my elder brother. Despite being [...]
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What is real? Can everything be considered real? Is real just a word? What is not real?
I had an epiphany: l don’t see reality as it is. I can’t. It’s not possible. What do you think?
As the title says, please take care.
You all are important.
As for me…. Not so much….
This here is my final good bye…
I am not worth while remembering.
I’m nothing but a terrible person.
I’m sorry it has come to this……
I really am…..
I’m saying my final good byes…..
May the world treat you kindly.
Bye bye and take care.
(I just hope that I have enough willpower to end my pethetic life)
Do you think if you rape someone 160 times in two years and they kill themselves because of it that it is murder?
Goodbye my sweet girl. You are more kind than I ever deserve. I hope they’ll give you a lot of treats and hot dogs in heaven. I miss you so much. May we meet again in the next life.
I’ve told them that I was done with it, and I should be. I ruin everybody else’s fun, but I’m also really sad about this as I know it’ll lead to spending less time with people as our common interest is now gone.
Am I just being selfish by not wanting to give this up? I know it’s better for the other people to be without me.
Although at this point I don’t have a choice I have already said that this was happening, so now it has to happen.
recently i have intentionally brought out the worst in 3 people so that i could get to how they truly think and feel about me. it worked. i forced their truths out of them. i had to push them to their limits to do so. now that i know the best and the worst in them i can find a way to work through my issues. my reason for living in the past was one of those people. now i have myself to deal with. i could choose the path of least resistance, or i could fight, i choose to fight for me.
I need this. Please.
Someone. Anyone.
Tell me why you live.
Tell me why you breathe.
I’d disappear from society and die this minute but I know there are a few good-hearted people who care, family and friends who’d go crazy over my sudden absence and ruin themselves with worry. I’m fucking chained to them, so I know what it is like to be a prisoner and I guess that’s I’ve got this pathological hatred for all those smug assholes who keep birdcages and fishbowls in their dainty fancy sweet little homes. Who gave you the goddamn rights to hold back the birds from flying and the fish from swimming freely out in the real world. Why not just kill and [...]
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I am the only human in my area who cares about other people but they don’t need it. I need to be cared about but nobody does
I wish l was a tree, animal or water. Anything but human
Suicide is the routine. The balancing act. No one left behind hurts and mourns. The worlds move on.
Death is not news anymore. Life goes on. The value of existence is relative. Meaning of life is what one assigns it.
Winners live and breed. Losers bow out with dignity. All fair game. Humanity doesn’t need so many of its kind; only a few harbingers of the voyage into the future. Let their tribe increase. All the rest are dispensable.
They who know their role in the cosmic play (or lack thereof) are free to slip behind the curtains of being. The audience and the critics of society pay [...]
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chasing the sun on a long travel week. the head hits the pillow in the hotel with the last words of the day……..
I know it’s pretty cliche for antisocial people to like the Joker, but honestly the dude is onto something. There needs to be more movies highlighting society’s cruelty toward the mentally ill. It doesn’t even have to be over the top cruelty — just day to day actions people take toward mentally ill people are bad enough. For me, the scene where the Joker was trying to get help but the psychologist was just completely disconnected from his reality really hit home.
This life isn’t something that should be, surely. The chronic background of fear, guilt, shame, regret, despair, numbed by addictive hedonism. Better not to be. Nothing good can come of it. If anyone should kill themselves, it’s me. So why am I still here?
Maybe I fear cosmic justice catching up to me beyond the grave. Being left alone to face all that fear and despair with no means to push it down any longer. If I could somehow be certain that it was the end, then perhaps it would seem more appealing, and less like an existential leap in the dark.
Or it could be that [...]
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There is no flower
That waits for me
There is no power
That allows me to be free
There is no sun
That rains on me
There is no fun
That shrouds me with glee
There is no comfort
That embraces me
There is no resort
That welcomes what I see
There are secrets kept
That call to me
Just one step
And I am free