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When I first came here, I scrolled through a lot of posts from different users, and was thinking that this was a place where anyone can express themselves. However, after a few weeks, even on a anonymous website, I can’t bring myself to post anything.
I wonder if anyone else here feels the same ?
Tomorrow is Judgment day for me. Tomorrow i will find if i get fired from my work or if they will keep me on.
My boss keeps on acting strange around me. I think shes giving me the boot.
Anywho, At least i will have a logical reason to off myself if they fire me, cause i not looking for another job after this one. Tired of doing that 🙂
It seems as if pain has completely taken over my life. I am a slave to it. It, not I, decide what I will and will not accomplish. It sends me to bed yet it won’t let me sleep. When I sleep it wakes me up. It steals my appetite and my sense of humor. It is taking over my soul. It is destroying my resolve. It has slowly been whittling away my will to live. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to live like this. I don’t want to die like this either. I feel like I’m caught in the …
My want to be perfect is so great it’s hard to put into words. I need every part of myself to be perfect; my hair, my body, my personality, my life. But I’m not and it makes me hate myself so much. I wish I could disappear so no one ever had to look at my disgusting person. When I’m in public it’s like I’m looking at myself from someone else’s point of view, and I can see how absolutely ugly I am. I’m so ugly. I am so fat. I was diagnosed with an eating disorder a while ago, and I feel like it …
When you are younger you are taught that monsters are not real they are simply an illusion of your worst fears. You might find comfort in the dim light that shines at the end of the room and hope the monsters wont come out to swallow you whole. Eventually, the fear seems to fade away the more you grow and different fears emerge. These fears start small and something you brush away but before you know it becomes bigger than monster you’ve ever imagined something boiling within you that wont go away with a simple dim light. Some people might never have these fears consume …
…But I chose to do drugs not knowing I would ruin it. I have no one to blame but myself.
I really am a loser this time.
Hello people of the Suicide Project And anyone else who may be reading this
I’m done, its that simple, everything that has been helping me cope with my depression and my suicidal thoughts/tendencies, ive just lost everything and everyone.
A month and a half ago when I came to college I was in a bad place, a really bad place. But then I found new college, new teachers, new people, new friends, family, and I met a very special friend, someone i didn’t think would exist in my lifetime, but there she was… in the flesh.
I thought I was doing well in life with, work, assignments, meeting …
I’m over this life of mine…
I am working on ways to end my pain that I live with daily. I am slowly planning my suicide leaving no room for error because I need the attempt to work. I first of all need to draw up a will and have it legalised. That way all money from my super etc. goes to my husband for him to be able to support our children.
I can’t live with how I am feeling for much longer….just recently I have had family humiliate me and make me feel so worthless I know I am better off dead.
I can’t do this …
I wonder if anyone who also writes here knows me in real life. Often I hear of people recognizing each other on this platform, or meeting in real life and figuring it out. I doubt anyone knows me though: no common circles; really, a sure chance I am alone on here just like I am in real life. yesterday I was frank with my counselor- sometimes I lie without meaning to; I kinda just forget what I feel, or I cannot seem to speak what is in my mind. I told her that I was more alone than I have been in a while; or, …
Well the hand hurts a lot less now, it’s probably not broken happily.
I do worry that I ruined a thing though, and has spent increasingly less time with people now.
Maybe I shouldn’t have allowed myself to slip away from the whole work thing though, seems I would have drifted away from people anyway…. Life sucks.
I made this account in 2011 or 2012.
I always forget about this space.
None of my friends like to listen to my issues – or, at least, that’s what i think. I think i’m going crazy all the time – does everyone hate me? are they all watching me all the time? am i actually dreaming and when i go to sleep i wake up into reality?
i’m not sure about anything, i don’t really care about anything.
i’m 23 now, and i was about 14 when i first felt like this. though, i would say i am more well-versed, more efficient and more aware.
why do people always …
Up to 3 Dream a Night.
Familiar Faces.
Emotion but no Feelings.
Different Styles of Visuals.
Time is shifting Nature.
Skills beyond Wakefulness.
Ability to remember – also photographically.
An Effect after Waking up.
Causing Déjà-vu in later Life.
Hardly to Ignore.
Terrific Nightmares ( I find Joy in)
Hello people of the Suicide Project And anyone else who may be reading this
I’m done, its that simple, everything that has been helping me cope with my depression and my suicidal thoughts/tendencies, ive just lost everything and everyone.
A month and a half ago when I came to college I was in a bad place, a really bad place. But then I found new college, new teachers, new people, new friends, family, and I met a very special friend, someone i didn’t think would exist in my lifetime, but there she was… in the flesh.
I thought I was doing well in life with, work, assignments, meeting …
Everything used to come to me so effortlessly I could run for miles nearly effortlessly, I never had to study or worry about anything yet miraculously got the top score in my AP classes.These days things are a struggle, I can barely walk ten feet without feeling like i will pass out, I can’t remember anything without difficulty, and i have problems forming sentences,just walking around my college campus is exhausting, I avoid talking with people because of the immense effort I need just forming sentences, and I can no longer understand academic topics without studying for hours.
Every month i develop new issues and have …
…and i have no clue what to do.
I think im about to have a panic attack
Ok just great my ex told me a bunch of stuff yesterday about his new girl, seems to be going alright, I’ve even helped him with this girl…
This in itself is enough reason to die within a few months.
It might work out.
There’s no hope for me, my only hope is if they break up, which I doubt. (He said if it doesn’t work out with her he’ll come back to me. Yeah I realize that I’m a backup plan. I don’t care I just need him in my life).
Anyway I hope I’ll be gone within a few months. No more suffering. No more thinking …
So you see all the flaws in me.
But never check what you are lacking for.
Never see how much I try to make u smile.
Your reputation in front of those cheap fluzez mattered. But what piss me off doesn’t matter.
You cant see me at the same platform where u once received love from a stranger but never realized I was always their to offer myself.
U search happiness in them. Love in them.
You never thought I am even worth your attention or a try.
Since the beginning you had improvement points for me.
You sit quitely next to me. And always i will plead u to love me. But …
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