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please read below

December 12th, 2017by why.me.

please take the to read this please please. i’m at a critical point

thanks

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Emergency!!!

December 12th, 2017by why.me.

first of all, sorry for not being active on SP and not commenting on your posts.

secondly, please don’t reply bullshit because i’m really freaked out and i need to do something, whether it’s to kill myself tomorrow or to have a plan to get me through each passing day.

so, i have a doctors appointment tomorrow and it’s to increase my dosage of my meds. after the appointment i’ll tell my parents that i’m going to go to school, but instead of going to school i’m thinking of going to this bridge called Leaside bridge. it’s 45 meters tall and i think that’s enough

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December 12th, 2017by iamdarling

i really don’t know what to do anymore. my life isn’t moving anywhere. i am a complete failure. i won’t be able to do anything in life, i won’t be able to get a job or a house or a partner. all anyone wants is just to have a decent life and i never will. im so scared im going to die and will have wasted my entire life.

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where did it go

December 12th, 2017by Imjustfine006

It would be so much eaiser if I just ended it all but I’m scared of dyeing and I hate that I am cause it would be so much easier if I wasn’t. I just don’t know where my happiness went it was here one time and then gone another. It comes back in times but sadness always finds a way to run that happiness away, maybe it’s just the thoughts that are to strong and the happiness is too weak to handle. I just want the thoughts to stop the sadness to go away and just for my life to be over. On the …

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December 12th, 2017by iamdarling

i’m having a depressive episode. i haven’t felt this bad since, idk, august? i don’t know what to do anymore. my life is just getting worse.

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panic attacks suck

December 12th, 2017by lovvely

hey, me again.

I wanted to thank all the people who commented yesterday, it was beyond sweet of everyone who did.

 

So, heads up, this will be a long one.

 

In the past week I’ve had at least three panic attacks and it’s been awful. In the past two weeks, I’ve had five or more, I’ve lost count at this point.

I’ve lost all relationships at this point. My friends hate me, my peers ignore me, and so do my loved ones.

I started to cut myself and think of suicide around the end of grade five, and now I’m in grade eight, and ever since, my thoughts have just …

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WTF

December 12th, 2017by defalt120

which asshole keeps flagging my posts? I talked about how I attempted suicide with cyanide and suddenly it got removed the next day. WHY? I’m not even violating the rules I’m just sharing my stories

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Who else is planning meticulously and why?

December 12th, 2017by lonely87

My husband completed in July…. he planned it meticulously, no idea for how long… this is what he did.

6 weeks prior to his death, he wiped all the messages on his FRIEND’s phone from him.

3 weeks prior to his death, he backed up all his photos online.

Some time prior to his death, most likely in the days leading up to it, he wrote a note, and a long list of alleged abuse I’d done to him. He took the time to google the correct spellings and grammar, he didn’t rush it.

In the week leading up to his death, at some point he retrieved his driving …

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Why are you doing it? Also..

December 12th, 2017by lonely87

My husband completed using an exit bag. His reasons seemed to be the following according to his note:

  1. He couldn’t go on living in fear of false prosecution or being attacked by my friends/ family
  2. I’d taken our children from him but I was the abusive one

I have to admit he had zero reason to fear being attacked, nobody had ever threatened him, and the person he was afraid of had never met him.

I had threatened to have him sent to prison for domestic abuse, but he was abusive albeit not for years. In his mind, I was going to pretend he was STILL abusive, …

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If there was Justice in this world

December 12th, 2017by eternaldarkness

would you still be where you are now? Would you still be depressed?

Justice as in- those who do wrong get punished. And those who are good get rewarded.

-Those who do bad things like rape/murder/bankrupt the economy get put in jail and taken out of power.
-Those who cheat or lie do no get to climb the ladder and get ahead in life.
-Those who work hard and are smart get rewarded in life.
-Those who are innocent are freed and have their name cleared.
-Those who are in abusive families get removed and taken to a better place.

-There is no money in politics where the …

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What are you doing Chloé?

December 12th, 2017by chloe17

Its 12.30pm on a Tuesday morning, people my age are at work or school doing something meaningful with their lives yet here am I: Lying on my bed with no intention to make today worth it. I don’ t even know how I found the strength to type this. I have a job interview in a couple of hours yet I am wondering if I should go. I feel like doing nothing. Nothing interests me anymore. I have lost my appetite, my eyes are swollen from crying everyday.

2017 was one hell of a year. I graduated from college, I turned 24, got my first car, …

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1

being your illness

December 12th, 2017by onemorehour

 

 

i lost my grip about 5 years ago, i started thinking that everyone i loved hated me, that they would leave me, and so i pushed them away.

 

i had been through a lot of trauma with the people i loved, people we loved had killed themselves and as we always took life as it was a little harder than the rest, i thought they would understand, that they would stay by me as i had stayed by them, that they might help me out. they could not handle it and i manifested the abandonment through my paranoia and dramatic cries for help that no one …

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I need to know

December 12th, 2017by deep.abyss

I’ve been fantasizing death for a while now but the most ironic thing is that I don’t really want to be dead. Like yes I think I’m a hopeless person and that people will only see my worth once I’m dead, but I’ve never planned any suicidal acts. Can this still be called “suicidal”?

I have a friend who is the same, we’re both very hopeless and depressed but we punch each other’s faces if we ever talk about doing suicidal acts.

Idk if this is normal and I really want to know if someone else feels the same way.

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Homebody

December 12th, 2017by clipped-wings

I don’t want to go out. I want to stay home. But I have a flippin doctor appointment. I barely function as it is. Driving to anywhere causes me pain. I realized the other day as I was paying for groceries that tears were running down my face. I don’t want to be this way.  I’m a whiner.

 

I’m a loser baby. So why don’t you kill me?

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who am I

December 12th, 2017by Drained-Blast

I’ve been around this project for a while but I did never have the energy to post, today’s am feeling bit better and that’s why I grabbed the opportunity to write.

I feel like having a whole population in my head, each person trying to make it theirs, looking from outside I have the best family and a prosperous future, but no one ever asked if I am really happy about it.

my parents ruined my life with their fucking ideal principles, : you should not do this, school before friends, school before hanging out, shcool school school and then school, ok I secured my future but …

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hey

December 12th, 2017by iamdarling

hey everyone… i haven’t got much to say but i felt like posting.

i found some old pictures and videos of me, which i’m glad about. i don’t seem to have much content of my childhood, which is dissapointing. i can’t really remember much, apparently, that’s a side effect of depression? but looking at those pictures and videos, i felt bad. i was always told i was intelligent and had a bright future, but, clearly, that’s all down the drain. i let that little girl down.

we also put our christmas tree up, the kittens haven’t shown a huge amount of interest. they’ve hit it a little, …

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Mad Kat

December 12th, 2017by LostKat

I have trust issues. I have trust issues. I have trust issues.

I told you, you couldn’t handle me. I told you. I told you. I told you.

I’m crazy I know, but I warned you! You made me trust you, love you, let you take a peak into my messed up head!

You broke down my walls, I spent years building up high, and let me experience the normality of loving another human being.

You made me believe what you said, “No, no, baby, it’s only the pills, you’ll be safe here in my arms, with me”, how could you?

YOU SHOULD’VE LET ME ROT GODDAMN IT!

Now, how am …

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Reading through my mom’s email

December 11th, 2017by Cause of Death: Suicide

I’ve always hated my mother and my entire family

Here she is telling these woman that I don’t know that I overdosed last year “because I got a DUI”

This f*cking b*tch replies:

“She needs to put on her big girl panties.”

I overdosed because of sexual violence.

Why is everyone so obsessed with my panties and shit

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I need to get clean.

December 11th, 2017by whiskered-fish

Unless you’ve experienced it, it’s hard to understand what it’s like. It’s a kind of guilt, but the word “guilt” doesn’t do it any justice.

The closest thing I can compare it to is a constant, unreachable itch. I can’t sleep, I can’t sit still, I can’t think straight. I’m constantly restless.

Or maybe an itch isn’t exactly right. It isn’t just an itch. Have you ever been covered in mud? It sort of feels like that. Like you’re covered in thick, itchy, heavy mud, and there’s nothing you can do to wash it off. You scrub and you scrub but you never get clean. …

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Are some people predisposed to be unhappy?

December 11th, 2017by magdeleina

Someone told me once that I would never be happy. It was something in my personality or soul that was incompatible with contentment. At the time I brushed it off, believing that absolutes like that were ridiculous. Now I am not so sure.

I can’t remember not feeling this way. You know the feeling. Like the world is a whirlpool that is taking you deeper and deeper into something cold and dark. Anyone who offers to help you will only be sucked in too. So you just sink, further and further until you forget what not sinking feels like.

 

It’s strange when I meet people who are …

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