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0

My suicide Project

  February 20th, 2019 by Yikrens

All it was meant painless.
but I obsessed myself believing it is actual death.

by living I find myself mysterious always more done to finish. I’m aware that i could develope asperger.

slowy the end is announcing but I keep having fears. Yes, this is paranoid.

i must be schizophrenic. things get lost. I lose my cool by living.

lost it but now I’m here just with another. I feel human.

but painless became hedonism. I’m egotistical, I lose friends. Must be a sociopath.

 

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4

This is the last time

  February 20th, 2019 by wearehannahbaker

So, today is oficially the last day without meds. I’ve been on so many things throughout my life that I can’t recall all the SSRI’s names I’ve taken but for the last 2 and 1/2 years I’ve been off everything. Lately, things have gotten so bad I decided to give it a shot since solely therapy stopped working altogether.

I don’t know how to feel about it. I’m not excited either, just going with the flow and it brought me to this point.

I still believe it is easier to just drop everything and die but something inside of me is telling me to give this a …

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0

Showing up for a night

  February 20th, 2019 by Urm8451n

I just wanted to write something.

Let off my thoughts.   I grew up without  a father and had to learn my place as a male in society.  It took me a lot of failures to get anywhere beyond my starting point.

I guess it was easier for me to say I don’t belong, or to let go whenever I didn’t solve my problems

with the time passing, I’ve learned to accept more and more responsibility for my actions and, much more, for my dealing with struggles.

I had few traumatic events along my life, that left me to feel alone, and perhaps alienated from other social beings.

I had …

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8

Reason enough

  February 20th, 2019 by Soda

For me being born “average” was reason enough to end my life. I won’t describe my flaws because simply mentioning them will give people the wrong idea and make it sound worse than it is. Also I am a perfectionist so any flaw I have (to me) is unacceptable. Don’t get me wrong, my shortcomings didn’t prevent me from getting lucky and dating some very pretty girls but I was nearly always unhappy with the way I looked.

Whenever I look at beautiful models/celebrities, I’m discouraged and angry that I wasn’t born beautiful. I hated my parents for having me but I got over it largely …

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1

What I’m seeking

  February 20th, 2019 by heartlessviking

I’ve been accused of being obsessive, insensitive, single minded, all of which I feel like misses the point. Yes, I’m a mono maniac, I’m seeking something with every ounce of energy I have:

It’s hard to describe the conditions that create the feeling that I crave. I’ve tasted bits of it my entire life, just enough to get me interested.

I’m sick,okay?! I have a disorder where things that interest or arouse normal people don’t even register with me. I have to take medicine to function, meds to work, meds to sleep. I’m 31 years old and at times I feel as frail as my 93 year …

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14

  February 20th, 2019 by ravingbean

What happens when you die?

I believe nothing happens. You’re simply dead. Spirituality is for the living.  It was created by people for people to make you act a certain way in order to achieve life after death. It’s a bunch of bullshit.

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2

  February 20th, 2019 by Tellmewhy

I feel like a god trapped in this body and mind, like a genie in a bottle and this feeling sucks, it’s killing me. Have you ever felt like this?

I live in a dead city where nothing ever happens.

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Too fat to be loved

  February 20th, 2019 by ivebeenhereb4

I cant stop eating I’m too depressed to function so I eat to cope. I want to cut myself so bad so I keep eating as a way to cope but I’m so fucking fat I’m driving myself crazy. I have to die soon this life isnt completely worthless I believe in the most high and that to even be alive is a gift. I just want to be better at it. I hate being undeserving of love because I eat too many calories. I hate that I dont have a better way to cope. I hate that I’m so alone.

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2

I’m back:))):((

  February 20th, 2019 by Imjustfine006

I was off here for about a good couple years I got better what was dragging me down before I cut out my life but now idk what is. This time it is so much worse and different cause Ik this time I’m the one hurting myself I’m the one putting these thoughts into my head that no one likes me, I’m gonna be alone forever Bc of how I act I’m awkward around everyone I don’t know what to say; how to start a conversation. I feel bad for the people I like Bc of who I am idk how to go up to …

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1

Can’t get the same

  February 20th, 2019 by nonexistingsoul

Yo it’s me again.

Remember the friend of mine who I wanted to save from depression?
Well I think he’s a bit okay now. I regularly check if he’s feeling okay and helped him get the bad thoughts out of him. I really cared for him.

But guess what?
He was not okay while I was okay. Now he’s okay but I’m not the one who’s not okay now. I cared for him a lot during his struggling days with depression. But right now that I’m the one who needed help now, I feel alone.
It’s like he doesn’t care for me at all. I know we give love unconditionally …

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3

No reason

  February 20th, 2019 by nonexistingsoul

I get panic attacks for no reason at all….. Why?!

Now I’m crying

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3

  February 20th, 2019 by thehusk

It’s ridiculous how much of every day I spend feeling like this. Every few minutes a reminder of how unsatisfactory and unacceptable my life is. How completely screwed I am. That there’s no hope for me. And yet still, apparently, I just don’t want out bad enough. You’d think I would have numbed myself to all of life’s disappointments by now. But I guess I’m too attached to my own suffering to let go. Constantly subconsciously scanning for reminders of what I want but can’t have. The problem is me – my brain, my self, my personality. I do this to myself, because I don’t …

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2

oimklokmjgseiafdofkvnja

  February 19th, 2019 by WastingtheUnknown

Everyone keeps moving on, and I’m still here,
Everyone keeps progressing, and I’m still here,
Everyone keeps finding love, and I’m still here,
Everyone furthers in their careers, and I’m still here,
Everyone keeps finding reasons to keep going, and I’m still here.
Everyone seems to be designed for something great, and I’m still fucking here oh god, just kill me.

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3

sad

  February 19th, 2019 by nomorepain461

im back on here, having a rough time recently. ending it all might be a relief, i need to be positive though. i will be after i vent some. life is tough and cheap where im from and i guess i didnt make the best choices with education and jobs. trying hard though. might get my own spot but it wont be in the best area. if i can get through this process of getting my own government subsidized housing, i can work on other avenues of my life (like getting a job long term). im probably too old to be on here. its not …

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6

Lame #1

  February 19th, 2019 by princessmousy<:3)~

I’ve found a place a bit further out. But again I am still kinda looking for cheaper places. And applying for jobs, same old never hearing back and the like, god, maybe I should apply for benefits, I mean thats lousy but it would get me a bit of extra money (yeah its legal). Although i’ve heard of stories where recepients have waited months to be approved. For the record my mum probably would still not have her pension today, she had waited months, I called the local MP and the next day she received her pension..so what i’m saying is if I hadn’t had …

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1

How to Build Emotional Walls

  February 19th, 2019 by yeetme

Okay okay. First post phew.

So it’s come to my attention that I indulge too much when giving information to people. It has recently become even clearer after listening to Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” album. I want to protect myself from people who hurt me, and one of the ways that I think I could actually execute is building a tall, sturdy emotional wall. People are just out to hurt other people, and humans are the only human that would deliberately do so. Just like the character Pink, I want to build a wall and close myself off from people around me regardless of how they …

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5

  February 19th, 2019 by Tellmewhy

Why continue living? I think the end is close

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2

Does my best friend hate me?

  February 19th, 2019 by rawan

alright so I’ve known this person since we were kids, we were always considered “besties” because we would hang out and talk all the time, but the thing I’ve noticed about her is that sometimes she just says something so mean out of the blue?? like for no fucking reason she would insult me, and then be like jk, and we once had a fight because of this and she said that I was being dramatic, I stopped talking to her for a while until she apologized and we were “best friends” once again, but the comments never stopped, she always makes me feel so …

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2

scared as him

  February 19th, 2019 by nonexistingsoul

I while ago I was feeling terrified. Were having another class meeting.
I hate those times because I feel anxious being with lots of people in a room.
I was so anxious and terrified of feeling left out again or feeling that I could never be like them or be part of them.
I can talk to them freely yes. I can laugh with them. If you look at it outside, you won’t think that I have social problems at all. But everytime I interact, it feels empty. Like I’m just talking to a robot just to boost my everyday social needs.
Then a friend of mine recently confessed …

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1

Determination

  February 19th, 2019 by morado123

My mood gets gloomier day by day and it doesn’t seem like my situation will get any better.

Thus, it becomes clear that I will probably kill myself by the end of February 2019.

I’m determined to end this horrible life before the new semester starts.

Hehe, I should start giving people my last gifts.

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