we’re all going to die one day. i look at my future and know that one day i’ll die. my existence and sufferings in this world will end and years into the future even the evidence that i existed will be gone. so like, what’s wrong with just doing it now?

i hate that this puts a low viewpoint on my friends but i genuinely think they’ll be fine after im gone. recently someone i used to be extremely close to, but then had to cut off, died and all i felt was guilt and then apathy. they’re no longer part of this world, but i […]

Every time I look in a mirror I don’t recognize myself. I see someone who isn’t me anymore. I feel like I’m just here, hiding inside this body and it isn’t me. It isn’t me anymore. I don’t know how much longer I can last. I really don’t. My boyfriends best friend constantly asks him to hang out with her and her boyfriend and I don’t know if she just purposely excludes me or he just doesn’t want to bring me. And I am struggling so hard. So hard to keep it together. I’m pretty certain he’s just embarrassed of me now and I can […]

I think that I’m gonna die soon because I’ll get cancer. I’ll have this cancer because of these psychiatric pills I took (and still take) daily for more than ten years

Just been turned into the dirt like a dead weed by my own kids. Got about a month to sell off and find somewhere to go. Can’t afford anything local and can’t travel. My days of being a “survivor” are over.

I hate every second of every day, I hate waking up. Does anyone know the point of living? I only live to waste earth’s resources for my selfish needs, spreading negativity and depression everywhere I go. I don’t see why Im needed here

-tw ed- it’s been a long while since ive been even aware of my life, i literally just seem to be floating around.. my eating problems have gone through the roof and body dysmorphia is eating me up.. i cant seem to think beyond my reflection and even when i do other things im just suffocating. i cannot walk without feeling every inch of my body its killing me.. i go from days without food to multiple binging and purging sessions and god i feel so disgusting to purge in public bathrooms. im literally a mess but i go out of my way to hide […]

everytime i try to convince myself that it’s okey and the future can be good i take one look at the news, or even just open twitter and im overwhelmed by the terrors of the world. im aware life has always had it’s hardships but it seems as though no one is actually living “to live” instead we are all “trying to stay alive” except ofc the rich and powerful. so why is this even worth living for? i literally have suicide as my plan B if any little thing in my life goes worse. i still somehow still have no died because of the […]

That quote is from a news story about a man who killed himself on the train tracks last week. Something about that description really affected me. For lack of a better word, it impressed me. I can only hope that’s how I’ll go when it’s my time. No panic, no second thoughts, no backing out. Just look up, see the train coming, and lie back down.

The man’s backstory is the disturbing part. Authorities had trouble tracking down his family because no one had heard from him (or bothered to check) for years. Yet they all knew he struggled with depression and alcohol/drugs. The woman who […]

It’s a saying that keeps repeating in my head. It comforts me.

we’d be better off if this world was dead. what’s keeping me holding on? my abusers are unrepentant pieces of trash, what’s the point of this. there’s no point to any of this.

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Why are you here in my head again? I was feeling so good for a minute. I can’t even complain about what you do to me. I do it to myself. You are making life so hard. There is so much bad in this world already. Can’t we just bring a little bit of good into it? Please Mr. MM, I need you to go back to sitting in your corner. There are things I still need to do. Creatures I still need to care for. I really don’t want to want to die anymore. I’m so tired Mr. MM. I don’t know […]

Let this blood soak in my hands

I’ll take the blade and place it to my neck

How simple is that

Everything is fine, isn’t it?

All it is is anxiety

Or is it?

Let me drown in the blood of my body

What a better way to go

The bones of my mind ache

Emotions are too hard to handle

I know I’m messed up

So what?

Who cares if I understand myself or not

It’s not gonna help

Nothing did

No blade, no person, not the forcing down of emotions

Nothing’s worked.

Who cares?

I need to say something

I need it to make sense

It hasn’t.

I can’t tell if I’m in fantasy or reality

And no one around me knows either?

Who cares?

All of […]

I’m someone who likes to draw, to edit pictures (especially of games) and write my own stories. This year something happened and I lost all interest for my hobbies. I’ve recently just started to regain some interest but… It’s like nothing I do, seems great enough.

I’ve also noticed my friends, that I always share it with, being rather uninterested. I’m not sure whether my perception is just ‘wrong’ or it’s really because I’m shit. I keep thinking: What even is the point of doing this.? If I don’t think it’s good and people around me don’t really care, then why do I waste my […]

I wonder, does anyone write letters anymore. It’s beautiful…writing a letter. Conveying your emotions and thoughts on a piece of  paper, engraving them forever, and sending them to a beloved person. I wish, that when I find my significant other I can share this with them. It’s sad, how no one writes letters anymore. I wish that people would start doing it again…

I don’t know why I feel like this. I feel worthless. My ex has ruined me, and I cant move past that anytime soon. I can’t do any of my work for school…I’m 3 weeks behind. I just wanna fucking die. My ex just up and left, No explanation no closure. I’m a pathetic excuse of a son and brother, I can’t even do the simple thing of doing my schoolwork, I rarely leave my room and If I do its to grab food/ride around outside. I’m not sure what the point of my writing this is. I plan on writing my note soon. I […]

I want to hold a baseball bat and just start breaking things. I want to throw whatever my hands reach, I want to hear glass breaking on the floor. I want to scream so loud.

There’s too much anger in me and nothing google says works. Articles just say to redirect your anger do other stuff, just breathe and relax. That’s bs it doesn’t work at all. I don’t think it works that way.

I am mad at my dad for not paying for my bills. He doesn’t care if I die even if this brain tumor gets worse until it kills me. I am […]

I had a dream last night. I can’t remember the full details, but I remember spending a lot of time with a girl in it. I can’t really remember her face, but she was a bit shorter than me and she had longish hair. Those are the only features I can remember from her. We spent our time just doing menial stuff like buying snacks from the gas station and riding a bus. I really felt like she wanted to be there with me. Like she cared about me. I remember looking at her and she had really […]

Oh, my… Do they ever diagnose you straight? I am diagnosed with SO many fuckin’ shit by different doctors. Like, what is wrong with me???!!!