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Well not feeling well all I do is sit in my room all day thinking paranoid thoughts. It’s really bad right now. I have suicidal thoughts . I don’t know how to break the cycle. I have been like this for a long time just getting tired of this.
Okay so….
Why is it that a lot of people automatically attribute being depressed, being suicidal, starving yourself, ANXIETY, wanting to die, wanting to kill yourself, wanting to cut or hurt yourself, as mental illness?
Just because someone feels and does these things, does not mean they are “mentally ill”.
Just because I want to kill myself, just because I’ve tried to, does not make me sick in the head. I chose to try that, I choose to cut myself, I choose to say and think rationally that I would rather drop dead. What is “ill” about that? Because I don’t really want to live anymore, …
Instead of laughing under the warmth of the sun, I sleep my days away. Night gives me comfort, while everyone is sleeping, I search for hours and hours, reasons to stay alive. Maybe I can change, it will all get better. But, what if it isn’t my fault. Maybe I’m just surrounded by many assholes.
Fuck! I’m only 16, and life is already shit. I can’t keep going. I know that I will die young.
I wish I was good enough for even one person. I understand that these feelings are biochemical reactions in my brain, the negatives of loneliness shaped by evolution to help keep humans …
Does SP have some kind of talking channel, in real-time, specifically for SP only? What do people use? Would it be a good idea to have one? Maybe not necessarily for things that we post on this site, but for easy real-time messages, in the case of…. I don’t know, wanting to free your mind? Needing instant words, or just plain talking…. no idea. Any takers?
~Oathkeeper
Right now, I remember thinking about wanting to die standing in this huge crowd of people— and then snorting, because something about me standing at 2 P.M. in stark daylight and thinking, ‘God, what am I even doing here? I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be,’ while some guy rambled on about philosophy seemed….strangely comical, for some reason. I’ve always had a very comical attitude about this whole depression thing, you know.
I can’t really blame anyone if they don’t take me seriously; I don’t know how to deal with this whole mess. A few weeks ago I told myself I would take a step forward and I’d do …
That describes my life(if it can be called that)right now. I think Im having a total breakdown. I live with my older brother and cant find a job. We have to vacate the house in 3 days. The couple of stray cats that gave me comfort day to day will probably be put down. And I cant do shit. Thought I had a rental lined up and it was a scam. I just want to die so fucking bad but fear and guilt is the only thing keeping me alive. But what kind of life is that? I just wish God would get me off …
Why?
You’ll never tell me, you simply lack the heart and patience to explain, you hurt me and you don’t care your’re selfish you always put yourself first and you don’t even realise it, your care is nothing but a simple illusion, that even you yourself have fallen for.
to someone as fragile and broken minded as me, you’re a monster, the scariest kind. The ones who seem innocent and pure and lure you in, only to suck the very life from you.
One day I’ll start to ignore all of the sirens songs and I’ll miss the most beautiful purest song of them all and it’ll all …
fuck everyone who ever fucking used me, fuck everybody that never bothered to give me a fucking chance, fuck every single person I’ve ever fucking met, fuck, fuck, fuck.
God fucking dammit I just want to fucking scream, fuck this shit, fuck everything.
Ok this is my first and probably last time i will do this
Ok all i want to say is that i dont deserve to be alive all i do is make other people upset hurt or just angry.
I have tried counselling and talking to friends but none of that seems to help me to stop wanting to kill myself
I dont know if i will ever read comments on this but there is one thing i do know.
Im not afraid to die
After all i deserve it
Life is hard Yea i get that
But getting adopted and then put back into the foster system like some peice of …
Hello, foster. >=]
First question of the night , what could a Seadra, do?
Idea Stories – Chocolate-Muk
The airborne voyage in the suited basket …
=o
one day I’ll find out who the fuck you were. I’ll make your life so miserable. I’ll make you regret what you’ve done to me. You made me suffer for so many years. I didn’t deserve to have a life like this & it’s all your fault. The truth will come out sooner or later . Then you’ll meet the real me. I wish you the worst .
I’m incredibly, unbearably empty. I can’t remember what a real laugh feels like. I can’t even remember what an orgasm feels like. I’m not sure it would be safe to escape this hole either. I might just find myself anywhere from breaking out in tears to committing murder or suicide.
Well, suicide is inevitable anyway. I’m really just waiting for the day I’m completely and utterly alone and nobody would miss me, out of common courtesy. A few scars on my wrist, a weak attempt at suicide. Only one, a second attempt that I live to talk about would be a great failure. I’ve researched thoroughly …
Ive been thinking about death and god and im not sure there is one, ive had anxiety attacks every night for the past 4-5 days i cant stop help me please
I spend a great deal of my time worrying about the future, but every so often I reflect on the past.
Maybe you’ve done the same; where you look back and wonder how you may have changed things to live a different life.
I regret not being more outgoing. Not allowing my shyness to rule me to the point where it manifested into social anxiety.
I regret trying too hard to please people, and as a result only finding my own identity in other peoples perception of me.
I regret putting too much emphasis on my studies. As though I would only be of any worth if I managed …
My retina is tearing. I can feel my vision deteriorate. Every day worse then the day before. My grandfather went blind. It’s in my blood. But i always hoped that yesterdays would not define me. That I would find my own way. That i would find my own strength.
It feels like such a far off dream now. 21 years old. And age is catching up to me finally. Here I am. I have given up everything to follow the way, and so now I am left with nothing.
I wish…I wish I had a little more time. But it seems like my road is ending soon. …
So, I researched whether I can successfully overdose on paxil, seeing as this is one of the 4 (maybe 5) types of pills I’ll be taking. When the date I set for myself arrives, I’ll have around 2300 mg of paxil alone; this is also around the max amount that has ever been taken, and that person survived :/ I’m worried now that it won’t be enough to send me over the edge. And I can’t change the date, I can’t. But I’m also taking this with other medications, one of which (sleep medication) has sent me to the ER before. So maybe, just maybe, …
The below post will be the very first journal entry, one of approx. 50 that I wrote while within my 21 months of a county jail. The journal entries are my true and raw emotion, and I feel I’m only brave enough to show them here because I feel they will be appreciated. These journal entries are not meant to make me seem philosophical, devout, crazy, or anything. They are meant to try and help others, my hope is that if even one of these entries connects with one of you, that’s one connection to keep you alive another day. I hope as everyone reads …
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