A Letter To The Past

June 29th, 2017by 06.2015

This is future me yo and I know lately you’ve been falling apart and things have not been okay for a while and I’m just going to be as honest as it gets. You won’t feel alright for a while you are going to hurt something you just will you’re going to sit on the floor screaming with your hand over your mouth to not make a sound, pulling your hair and trying to tear your skin off your bones you’re gonna fall asleep with tears burning holes in your warm cheeks like acid and you’ll wish you’d never wake up, you’ll wish …

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I’m sick of this place utterly fucking sick

June 29th, 2017by Dungeon

I’m so fucking tired of saying the same shit over and over again.
I’m tired of being okay for a moment then spiraling down the fucking rabbit hole again, a constant cycle of disappointment and loss. I tried, tried and tried some more but the same shit keeps happening but somehow just keeps getting worse. I’m not happy, no shit I’m not happy how the fuck could I be. I’m also not sad, or lonely or fucking anything. I’m just tired. I have been tired for FUCKING YEARS AND IT JUST KEEPS GETTING HEAVIER. EVERY FUCKING DAY I WAKE UP I JUST WANT THIS WHOLE STUPID …

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Love

June 29th, 2017by CodenameR

It’s pathetic, I know, but all I want is to be loved. It’s something thats been absent t most of my life, and the love that was there was the kind surrounded by thorns. I know my family loves me deep down but does that make the pain they cause me acceptable? Just because they love me it’s ok to make me an afterthought. They can tell me how unwanted I am, but it’s ok cause they still love me? I don’t want that. Is there even any other kind of love though? Is it even possible for someone to love me without breaking me …

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Fuck. This.

June 29th, 2017by WastingtheUnknown

I’m killing myself this fall, I know it now. There was never any hope for me.

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Lol I just got told off on reddit for absolutely fucking nothing :)

June 29th, 2017by WastingtheUnknown

November 5, 2017 is the day I end this. Oh, and just venting. No need to tell me off here too.

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Broken People

June 29th, 2017by CodenameR

Everyone is just so broken. It’s not just me or the people on this site, but everyone is riddled with cracks and holes. Some are seemingly not as bad as others. Some cracks are left in the open only to deepen and never be healed, but others lie just beneath the surface and heal no better.
It hurts to move forward yet so does standing still. Live or don’t live, does it matter? Who even cares anymore? Everyone is broken in some way but won’t acknowledge it to each other. We just ignore the pain in ourselves and hope it’ll heal itself, but it never …

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Blood is My New Dirt

June 29th, 2017by fleshkit03

I am not a murderer but inside my head it looks like I could be.

Everything bloody and messy, everyone covered in blood as if its normal dirt.

I look at my hands, covered in red yet see no remorse, just disgust to get clean

I hate who I have killed for making my hands soiled

But yet again. Wouldnt all murders start a sentence this same way.

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Ex angst

June 29th, 2017by whatever421138

I can’t tell you I love you. I mean I told you many times but not recently, it’s been well over a year since we last spoke. You were downright abusive and I told myself I was the strong one for walking away. So I can’t tell you again in person so I’m sending it out into the ether. I love you so much, I think about you every day, no…every moment of everyday. Also fuck you. How is fair that you got to move on and I cannot. How can I feel so much love for someone who feels so little for me? This …

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…

June 28th, 2017by Atintofgreen

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Catharsis

June 28th, 2017by whatever421138

I don’t really know what to say anymore. I feel the need to express how I feel, like it will gain me some kind of catharsis but it never does. I’m out of words. I hate everyday. I hate everyone; I hate myself most of all. Please can something change? PLEASE. I can’t take this anymore. I’ve done everything you’re supposed to do (prescription drugs, professional help, etc) I’m still doing it. I’ve been strong, I’ve taken this pain and I’ve endured. ENOUGH. FUCKING STOP. I can’t do this. PLEASE SOMETHING CHANGE. I just can’t keep going through the motions. Will this pain ever stop. …

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San Francisco

June 28th, 2017by Icarus

I swear I’ll go someday.

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So I’m spending the night cheering this kid up…

June 28th, 2017by duringmydarkestdays

Once I thought all my empathy, will to comfort those in need and patience had been all stripped away. Tonight somebody needed my help. I’m able to cheer him up. I feel relieved this side of me still exists. It’s always so meaningful to help another out. No matter how young or old. I feel happier… relaxed… sort of fuzzy… 

Just felt like sharing the first positive thing I’ve experienced this week… 

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Can’t do this…

June 28th, 2017by bluerosewhy

I can’t live in this world anymore.
Can’t even explain.
I think I went through some kind of spiritual experiences and there is this internal conflict in me for a while now, let’s call it hell.
Sometimes I’m happy though.
But I can’t live in this world, I don’t feel I belong, when people seem so passionate about some corporate or non-corporate work I just want to kill myself. Those living in this system, making sense of it, looking at me with their wide eyes in misbelief “you just need to do x”. “you’re just looking for your place in this world”.
I don’t think there is any.
There is this …

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I hate how I can’t be happy without someone in my life

June 28th, 2017by ClairDeLune

Literally everything feels meaningless doing it just by myself. Reading a good joke, because I immediately think about telling it to someone only to realize that there is no one that would care. Cooking, because there’s no one there to enjoy the meal apart from myself, and I’d survive on frozen pizza and cereal anyway. Going to the park, because there’s no one there to tell how pretty the trees look and the ducks quack. Going jogging, because there’s no one who I could moan to about how exhausted I am. Going to uni to get a degree, because I’d survive on a retail job …

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I had enough

June 28th, 2017by seemokay

I can’t , I can’t do it anymore. I’m tired of everything. I can’t handle this pain anymore. I hate being depressed, why is my life like this ? Why can’t I just be happy? . Why ? I crave death everyday. I would love for it to happen already.  I don’t sleep good anymore. Every night is just full off nightmares .

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June 28th, 2017by seemokay

You never showed interest in me . You called me your shorty & gave me compliments . But you took forever to text me back . I think I just wasted my time . I’ll never find out if you did wanted a relationship or not . Who knows . But I’m sorry but I think we should stop talking I don’t want to hear from you . I have enough going on in my life . I’m sick & I won’t get better . I’m sorry , but thank you for your friendship. Maybe one day will meet again . But I doubt it …

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Look at the terrible mess that we’ve made, we’ve made ourselves undone…

June 28th, 2017by Take a Deep Breath

Hey loves. Just want to pop in again and ask how everyone’s feeling. I don’t know about you guys, but Summer is a bit easier for me to live through. I prefer being in colder weather, but winter always makes me so depressed… It may be hot but at least I don’t feel like dying today! Everything is so bright and fluid and lively- it makes me feel as though I can be that way too. Yesterday was a tough day for me. I had a massive drop in energy, which lead to a huge depressive episode… #perksofbeingbipolar. Since I am exhausted today from yesterday, …

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Too skinny

June 28th, 2017by seemokay

In my head I hear these small voices telling me I can’t do it . That I’m skinny . Not letting me eat . I tend to hurt myself. I really don’t want to . But it just happens . You know how they say if you take more then one pill you can die ? Well it’s a myth . I’ve taken more than 5 & nothing happens . At first it was just a game to see how long I can go without eating but till this day I was hurting myself. I hate my body I hate it so much why couldn’t …

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Never Good Enough- 1

June 28th, 2017by eternaldarkness

I see so many posts of people not liking their bodies. It’s such a shame that we are all shamed for what we look like by society. We’re either too skinny, or too fat, or too short, or too tall, or [fill in the blank].

My entire life, I was made fun of for being too skinny. I was teased ENDLESSLY, daily, by everyone; even the teachers joined in. It was horrible. I got no reprieve- at school- and especially not at home. My mother and sisters were merciless- every body part was scrutinized and sneered at. Naturally, I …

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